Love Languages, Physical Touch

1 John 4:7

”Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God”

1 John 4:7

Like I mentioned last week over the next few weeks we are going to be talking about the 5 love languages as Dr Gary Chapman describes them.

So let’s start with what all 5 languages are.

  1.     Physical Touch
  2. Gifts
  3. Acts of Service
  4. Quality Time
  5. Words of Affirmation

For this devotional we are going to break into Physical Touch and what it means to speak that language and how to tell if your spouse needs you to speak it to fill their tank.

Let’s start with what physical touch really is.

Of course, it could mean intimacy, in the bedroom. But it also means so much more.

Like, hugs, messages, holding hands, and showing that you love through actually touching others.

Have you ever met someone who is a “hugger?”

I am! 

I absolutely love hugging others, and physical touch is my main language. That’s right you heard me correct, I’m bilingual. (Something my high school Spanish teacher thought she would never hear from me, lol)

It’s a good chance that if someone is a “hugger” then their primary love language is physical touch.  and they need you to speak it fluently to truly fill their tank!

Most men think that their primary language is physical touch, but the truth is that they enjoy intimacy, but it might not mean that it is their primary language. And something that men don’t realize is that when they don’t fill their wife’s love tank, she probably won’t be as interested in intimacy as when her tank is full.

So guys if you’re reading this you need to start studying your wife languages and get GOOD at speaking them.  You’re just going to have to trust me on this one. 😉

Ok, so we said that if someone is a hugger then they are probably a physical touch person. How else can you tell if someone speaks this language?

One good way is that they like holding hands, or gently brush up against you.

In the workplace it might look like someone who truly likes shaking hands, every time.

With your kids it might be that they truly enjoy hugs, or holding your hand, or they hug their friends, or possibly they enjoy cuddling on the couch.

What do you do if you can’t read the signals?

Well that’s a great question. My answer might be different from most peoples, but here it is. 

I ASK THEM!

It’s really that simple.  “how do you feel when we hold hands?” “Did you enjoy that hug?”

With kids I read them.  Do they want to hug me or shake my hand?  Or do my kids reach for my hand when we are walking.

A great example is our daughter Brianna, her primary language is NOT physical touch. In fact she doesn’t even really need it very often to fill her tank.  But she will still reachs for my hand when we walk because she knows I need it.

At work it might look something like Joe not extending his hand for a hand shake before you extend yours.  Physical touch might not be his language.  Or possibly Mary always gives you a hug when she sees you. Mary probably needs physical touch fluently and needs it to fill her tank.

You should know that Jenna’s primary language is NOT physical touch.  She definitely needs a little of it though.  She loves it when I hold her hand while we walk, and she loves hugs. The thing is that she needs more than that to really fill her tank to the top though. 

And over the next few weeks you will be learning probably way too much about Jenna and I and our kids. Lol.

Take Action

I want you to look deep inside to see if physical touch is your primary language. 

I know what your thinking, Dan you haven’t told us about ALL the languages yet, how can I tell which is my primary. 

Believe me, if physical touch is your primary, you will know it!  I did without a doubt.

Now that you have looked inside I want you to look at how well you speak this language.  Can you read when someone wants a hug, handshake, or to hold hands? 

One last thing I want you to do.

Take a moment and name 5 people close to you who speak this as their primary language.

For me it’s Billy, Nathen, Tami, Darrell….

Now name 5 people who are not super close to you who speak this language.

For me it’s Don, Chad, Chloe, Aleina…

Prayer

Lord, God Father almighty in heaven we come to you today in thanks.  We want to thank you for the wisdom you have given us and the ability to share it with others.  We also want to thank you for the ability to read other peoples’ love languages and also our own.  God we do pray that you give us insight so that we can see who else speaks this language so that we can help fill their tank.  God our goal is to become bilingual and have the ability to speak all the love languages and a few other languages might be nice too.  God, we are so grateful that you give us such great examples throughout your scripture for these and ways to live our life.  You gave us the play book. All we have to do is study it so that we can grow.  God, we pray that you would guide us and help us to grow in the direction YOU need us to.  Even if it’s not the way that we want to grow.  Help us to know that you know better than we do, even when we think we know better. God thank you for everything you have ever done for us.

In your precious son’s name.

Amen

A Little More

Recently we took a family trip to San Diego, CA for a week of R&R.

Yeah right, have you ever taken 4 kids to a beach house?  It was more like, Dad lets go play in the ocean, dad lets go walk the beach, dad lets go play frisbee, dad lets go……  I think you get the drift.  Lol

I’m not complaining though, I wouldn’t have traded it for the world.

You see as a kid I didn’t get the chance to go to the ocean very often, because my dad doesn’t like the water.

In fact if you have ever talked to him about it he will tell you “I don’t take baths, because people drown in the water, if the waters over my ankles it’s too deep.” 

I love my dad, and would never hold anything against him.  He was and is the best dad I could have asked for. 

We just don’t always see eye to eye.

I’m 100% sure he is proud of me, my choices, and my family.

It takes me back to a few years ago when we convinced him and mom to come on a trip with us to the beach for a week. 

He did amazing. He even walked the beach and got his feet wet!  We were all shocked.  Just kidding kind of.  Lol

Anyway….

I still remember our first trip ever to San Diego.  We had just bought a new car. It was our first ever Lincoln Navigator (wow did we feel upper class.)

We drove all night from Colorado to CA and got there about 6 am.

Guess what?

NO ONE up at 6AM in CA!  there was 0 traffic.  We found a parking spot at the beach with no issues.

This was our kids first time seeing the ocean, we were all STOKED!

As I parked, I got out and this guy carrying a surfboard looked right at me and said, “wow nice car bro!”

I responded with a genuine, “Thanks bud”

Then as Jenna and my 4 kids got out of the car he stopped walking and watched as we helped the kids.  His next response floored me and made me LOVE San Diego.

He said, “Nice Family Bro!”

I responded back again as genuine as I could, “Thanks Bro!”

Ever since then we have loved San Diego and everything about it. 

We try our best to go at least once a year and would love to go even more. Sharing it with anyone who wants to join us.

Here are my hints and tips for San Diego!

  1. Buy a wetsuit if you love the water.  It is well worth the investment.  We didn’t have them on our first trip but bought them before our second one.  And let me tell you they make a HUGE difference on staying comfortable in the water.
  2. If you like Hamburgers you have to eat at Hoodads in Ocean Beach!  Be sure to get grilled onions on your burger!
  3. Skip the hotel and get a house on the beach!  I mean on the beach.  Like the only thing between you and the ocean is a sidewalk, or nothing at all.  You wont regret the investment trust me.
  4. You have to check out the zoo, sea world, the midway (a WWII aircraft carrier), La Jolla, Ocean Beach, and so much more
  5. Get a boogie board and get some vitamin SEA!
  6. Take a surf lesson, you wont regret it.

You should know that I wrote this devotional while sitting in a beach house on Mission Beach with nothing between us and the ocean but a sidewalk.

Yes I do exactly what I suggest!

So get out there and live life to the fullest!  Take time to spend with your family! Take time to give thanks to God for EVERYTHING you have!

Will you pray with us?

Mankind throughout the world throughout our current situation

All Law enforcement and emergency response personnel

For all military personal serving our country and their families

Those in Leadership positions throughout the world