When Things Get Hard Don’t Give Up

It would seem that God allows us to persevere through mistakes and harder times so that we can learn.

Or at least that’s what I think it is. 

Recently Jenna and I had a, well let’s just call it “heated discussion”.  It wasn’t fun.

We were both hot for a while after our little chat.  To be honest, she gets hot and stays hot for a while. Then she cools down and is ready to talk.

The big problem is that I get hot and then cool off quick, like most guys.  Then I try to start the repair process too soon.

Because she is still hot.

Then that makes me hot again, and this time I stay hot for a while.

So, when she is ready to start the repair process I am HOT, then she feels bad that she stayed hot for so long and feels like she lost her chance to make a quick repair.

In the end, we both try to repair what happened, but just not at the proper time.

The whole reason I wanted to share this with you is that it has been happening for the past 18+ years that we have been together.

When we got married at our shower an older lady, Marry Dossey, gave us some firm advice. Her words will most likely stick with me until the day I die. I’m going to give them straight. So please excuse a few words, but I feel that it will show you her true character as someone who always shot straight.

She said, “Everyone will tell you to never go to bed mad. Hell, if Richard and I would have done that, I would have never slept! Sometimes you need to cool down before you can start to fix the issue.”

She was 100% right. 

We are all different.

Honestly, God knew that I needed to hear what she had to say. Because I like to fix problems and fix them FAST.

If we think about it in terms of an engine.

We can’t begin to fix the internal problem until we first shut the motor down. Then if we don’t give it time to cool down before we start the repair we are going to get burned in the process.

The first step is to shut it off.

Then give a little time to cool down.

Then after that, we can start to repair the damage.

The last step after you get it all put back together is to start slow!

There is no way that I would rebuild an engine, slap it back together, then fire it up at full throttle. 

NO WAY!

I’m the guy who always has 2 or 3 “extra” bolts, so I’m going to be standing behind something strong when I fire it. Praying the entire time, the things don’t blow up.

My whole point is that after we make any kind of repair to anything, we have to start back slow.  We can’t just jump back in full bore.

It takes time to get back up to speed.

But boy, after we make the repair, and a few minor modifications. Like adding twin turbos, upgraded pistons, and some other amazing enhancements.

That engine will actually run better than it ever did before.

Our relationships are the exact same way.

When we fix issues that come up we are adding those amazing extras to our relationship. Maybe it’s a journal that we share. Maybe it’s a safe word that means to stop for a few moments. Maybe it’s a change in our diet that causes us to be in a better mood.

It doesn’t matter what it is. The point is that we can make it run smoother, faster, and more effective after a repair. Depending on how much time and effort we put into making it better.

As you read this you are probably thinking. “Dan, what the heck does this have to do with not giving up when things get hard?”

If you go back and re-read this you will definitely see the message, even if you have to read between the lines.

But like Mary Dossey, I’m a straight shooter too.

So i’ll just tell you.

Most relationships end because someone decided to give up.

Most businesses fail because someone decided to give up.

Most jobs are lost because someone decided to give up.

Most people fall away from God because they gave up when things got tough.

Do you see what I’m saying here?

If one side gives up then eventually both sides will give up.

The only time this never happens is with God. 

He is always there for us, we just have to ask. Matthew 7:7

That is why God is still so prevalent in so many lives. Because he NEVER gives upon us.  All we have to do is ask for forgiveness and he grants it to us.

No matter how big the mistake we made was.

Time to Take Action

Dear God, Today we come to you with hearts that heavy but also full of joy.  God today we come to ask that you guide us throughout the repair process of all of our relationships.  Help us to not hold any grudges against anyone. No matter what they have done to us in the past.  God, we pray that you help us to forgive them and allow them to forgive us.  I am sure that I offended someone (lots of people) in my short life. So I pray that you would help those I have hurt to mend. I pray that you would help me to mend my heart, body, and soul with every affliction that I have against anyone.  Because God I know that if I can’t mend myself then there is no way that others can mend against what I have done to them. God, we all have secrets in our lives, but you are our secret keeper and you know everything about us. So, I pray with all of my heart and all of my entire being that you could help us to forgive ourselves for anything that we might have done to cause pain in the past. God, I also pray that you are with every relationship throughout this entire world. Be with all of us God. Help us to grow and when we make repairs help us to add those awesome new features that will help us have smoother relationships in the future.  God today we pray that you will give us the strength to ask for what we need!

We pray all of this in your precious son’s name.